Total Drama Reset
by SierraFan
Summary: I was watching some TDI and I thought, "what happened to these cool, who cares" kind of characters. Then I thought, what if we could reset Total Drama, where Duncan can beat up a deer and not cry over a momma bird and Gwen and Courtney don't act like Katie and Sadie. Real, genuine Total Drama, not a show for little kids.
1. Chapter 1: Chris and Chef

"What do you _mean_ your canceling my show?" Chris was yelling into his phone. "Everyone _loves_ me!"

"Blah, blah, blah, blah , blah." the producers said something boring and producer-y.

"Do you really think people watch the show to see stupid, pimple-faced weirdo teens? Uh, I don't think so! People watch Total Drama to see _me_!"

"Blah, blah, blah, blah."

"Cancelled? I didn't even start Pahkitew yet! You know how much money I paid for that?"

"Blah?"

"Well, a couple hundred dollars, but still! You can not cancel _my_ show!"

Chris walked out of the kitchen. "They cancelled my show!" His face became blank. "I lost my plane, my cottage, my island...and now...MY SHOW! How will people know how famous I am? Huh, Chef? How will people know how incredibly handsome I am? How will people..."

"Chris will ya stop your stinkin' nagging?" Chris went quiet. "Now that you quit ya baby crying, why are they canceling ya show?"

He sniffed. "The stupid producers say the viewers don't like the character's personalities. They were all like 'Blah, blah, TD went from a cool show for teens to a baby show; Blah, blah, All Stars sucked; Blah, blah, Geoff isn't cool anymore; Blah, blah, Mike's awesome MPD is gone; Blah, Blah, Duncan isn't a bad boy anymore; Blah, blah, Cameron's a loser now...oh wait, he's always been a loser."

"I see your problem Chris, but we can't change others; we can only change ourselves." Chef picked up Chris and hugged him. "I'm so sorry man! It's not fair! Why do the good dudes have to go like this? Why?" He started crying. "I'm still gettin' paid though, right?"

"No! This is not how we'll end it!" He said quoting Alejandro. "We've played this game for too long! I have an idea, but we'll need some help."

Chef rolled his eyes. _Oh God_, he thought. _This can't end well_.


	2. Chapter 2: Sierra

"Hey Sierra. Listen, I need to talk to..."

"Oh my gosh!" Our favorite fan girl squealed. "**MOM**! Chris McLean is calling our house! **MOMMY**!"

"**HONEY, I'M IN THE SHOWER! TELL HIM I'M BUSY!**"

Chris put his hand to the phone and mouthed "Wow" at Chef. "No, I wanted to talk to you."

"Really!"

"Yeah. Soooo...Sierra! How's it been?" He said not caring.

"Well, I've been writing some TD fanfic..."

"Yeah, shut up." He interrupted. "Sierra, you know everything about everyone who has ever been on Total Drama, _right_?"

"Is Cody's birthday on April 1st?"

"How could I forget? _That's the day you_ **_BLEW UP MY_**..." Chef stopped him before things got ugly. "Chris, man, chill."

Chris breathed in deeply. "Yes Sierra, it is. I need you. Total Drama needs you. Can you help?"

"Is Blaineley's real name Mildred?"

"I don't know and I don't care so I'll assume that means yes!"

"Great! _**HEY MOM, I'M GONNA GO HELP CHRIS DO SOMETHING**_!"

"_Okay, get me an autograph_!"

* * *

"Okay, we'll stop by the Chris Cave to get my new invention, the..." Chris started to say something but Sierra interrupted him.

"I can't believe you picked me up in a limo! I bet it was like really, really, really expensive. I can't believe your mansion is soooo big! I've seen it before and it's much bigger than Playa Des Losers! I can't believe you have a Chris Cave! I bet it looks just like the Bat Cave! How come I've never seen it? I've stalked your...I mean I've been to your house like a bazillion times! I can't believe..." If Sierra said one more word, Chris was gonna be arrested again; this time, for murder.

"I can't believe you keep talking! Do you ever shut up?"

"I can't believe I ever had a crush on you" Chris face-palmed himself. "You're okay now that I know how mean you really are, but my mom still has a super crush on you. She says you're so hot and perfect."

"You're mom has good taste. We're here." The limo stopped in front of a giant mansion. As Sierra said, it was ten times bigger than Playa Des Losers, or Chris's "cottage", as he called it.

As they entered the Chris Cave, Chef Hatchet greeted them in an Alfred-Pennyworth-like outfit. _Better than a hot pink dress_, Chef thought.

"Chris, why'd ya bring her?" Chef asked.

"Do you really think I have time to re-watch every single episode to see how these kids are supposed to act? That's what Sierra's for." He leaned in closer and whispered in Chef's ear. "_Plus, she's free_."

"Chef, Sierra. Listen up." Chris said once they were sitting down. There was something on the table hidden under a white sheet.

"This..." He said uncovering the doohickey, "...is my Rewind-a-tron 2000!"

"Ooooh! Aaaah!" Chef and Sierra were impressed. "What does it do?" Sierra asked. She tried to touch it, but Chris slapped her hand.

"Well, uh duh, idiot! It rewinds stuff!"

"Like a TV remote?" Chef asked.

"No, not a TV remote! It rewinds the characters personalities to their first seasons! It can make Duncan back into a bad boy, turn Bridgette and Geoff into people who can talk for two minutes without making out, and Dakota into a regular, totally hot chick who can speak proper English! It's genius and was very expensive to buy...I mean very hard to make!"

"It looks like a TV remote." Sierra said.

"It does." Chef added.

"**IT'S NOT A TV REMOTE**!"

"Okay, okay!" Sierra backed off. "So, what are we supposed to do with it."

"No, my silly little uber-fan. What are_ you_ supposed to do with it?"

"I don't know. I was asking you."

Chris face-palmed himself again. "I'm still on probation, so I can't use 'weapons' on people, let alone on teen kids. You just point this at whoever I tell you to shoot and click the green button.** NOT** the red button. **NEVER** the red button. Got it?"

"Totes!"

"Great, now let's get on the road! First stop..."

"Lindsay?" Chef asked.

"As hot as she is, no."

"Cody!" Sierra practically jumped out of her seat.

"No. It's you!"

"What?"

"Sierra, people loved it when you were obsessed with Cody. Great for ratings! But then you got _wayyy_ too obsessed. You even tried to replace him with Cameron. You and Cameron? Cam-Cody-kins? Not so great for ratings. I'm gonna have to shoot you."

"What? Why? I'm too young to die! I never got to say goodbye to my Cody!" Chris's face was starting to hurt.

"**With the Rewind-a-tron**!"

"Oh. Well, anything that will help save Total Drama!" She said as she blasted herself in the face.

"Ouch! That hurt!"

"That's why I'm not allowed to use it. Now how do you feel?"

"I'm not sure. I wish Cody was here."

"Good, good. Now what about Cameron?"

"Cameron? He's a good friend to Mike and Zoey, but I don't think he's my type."

"Perfect! Now, it's time to go to our real first stop!"

"Lindsay?"

"Cody!"

"No, it's..."

"Owen? That's boy was the only one who could eat my food. I liked him. Why would I wanna change him?" Chef interrupted.

"No, we're going to..." Chris tried to talk.

"Cody? Cody! I bet it's Cody!" Yup, that ray was working pretty well.

"No, stop talking! Our first stop is..."

"Gwen?"

"Cody?"

"Trent?"

"Cody?"

"**NO! STOP GUESSING!**" Chris tried very hard to calm down. "We'll start with someone regular, someone no one really cares about. Someone boring, plain, but someone who's changed so much, people are starting to hate them."

"_Zoey_?" Chef and Sierra said in unison.

"_Exactly_."


	3. Chapter 3: Zoey (and friends)

"I'm not letting you zap me with some gun!" Zoey said.

"I'm not gonna zap you. That's why Sierra's here!" Chris said pointing to her.

"Hey Zoey!" Sierra said.

"Hi Sierra." Zoey waved. "Can you explain this again?" She said to Chris.

Cameron, who was coincidently visiting Zoey that day, piped in. "His show is going to get cancelled and he needs us contestants to change our personalities to ones that the viewers like. Right, Chris?"

Chris didn't like it when people stole his spotlight. "Yeah." He said mockingly. "Thanks, Cam."

Mike and Gwen were there as well. "I kind of like the way I am, thank you very much." Gwen said. "I have _real_ friends now, and I'm not giving them up for your dumb show."

"And I am _**never, ever **_going back to my multiple personalities. They messed up everything, but now they're gone and I'm free." Mike said. " Why would I want to be a freak again?

"Well, duh! It's good for my ratings!" Chris wasn't convincing Mike; just making things worse.

"And good my paycheck." Chef wasn't helping either.

"You guys are forgetting the point here." Sierra said. "We're doing this for the fans! The fans don't want to see a regular, boring, personality-less Mike. No offense."

"None taken."

Sierra continued. "And people don't want to see Gwen hanging out with losers like you guys. They want to say the Gwen that came to Season 1 with a 'Who Cares?" attitude and hung out with the cool kids, not pathetic losers. No offense."

"No, no, it's okay." said Zoey sweetly.

"And Cameron, people don't want to see you talk about boring junk no one cares about...oh wait, you did that in Season 4 anyways, but that's not the point! Zoey, people want to see you be awkward and weird around Mike." Zoey blushed. "You were pretty and smart in Season 4. In Season 5, you were just pretty. I mean, it was pretty obvious that Mike was Mal and Mal was just pretending to be Mike and Mal was evil and..."

"Get to the point." Gwen was getting annoyed.

"Shut it, Cody stealer!" Sierra was back to normal, all right. "Now, where was I? Oh yeah! You guys aren't the teens people saw when you first started the show..."

"I'm the only original contestant her." Gwen was getting Sierra mad.

"I said_** shut it**_! Gwen, you've probably changed the most. You used to be cool!" She turned to Mike.

"You used to have real personality!"

She turned to Cameron. "You weren't as annoying!"

She turned to Zoey. "And you were sweet and smart, not an airhead!"

Cameron was convinced. "I guess I'll do it."

Zoey agreed. "Me, too!" Gwen and Mike weren't budging.

"I like my new friends. I don't want to change."

"I'm not going back to my personalities!"

Chef, who was trying not to get involved, spoke up. "Gwen, don't you want to go back to Trent? You used to really like him." She blushed.

"He's too obsessed with me. It's not healthy for either of us." Gwen still had _some_ feelings for Trent.

Chris had an idea. "If you get hit by the Rewind-a-tron 2000, we'll hit Trent with it next so you two lovebirds can be together.

"Really?" Chris nodded. "Okay, then."

Mike still didn't agree. "No! I don't need them anymore. I have their abilities, remember?" He still a somersault in the air and landed perfect. "I'm happy the way I am.

Zoey tried to reason with him. "Mike, please. Just try. For me?" Mike was hesitant.

Cameron tried. "We could be on Total Drama again. I know how much you wanted to go back on. We could have a Friendship Finale 3.0, without Mal ruining everything!"

Mike sighed. "I guess so. Go ahead Sierra, shoot."

"**YAY!**" She squealed. She picked up the doohickey, aimed, and shot. The four friends braced themselves.

_"Ouch!"_

_"Hey!"_

_"That hurt!"_

_"Yikes!"_

Chris laughed at their pain. "Okay, now how do you guys feel?"

"I don't know and I don't care." Gwen was back to normal. "Can we go to Trent now?"

"Phenomenal!" Cameron exclaimed. "You'll have to teach me how to make that one day!"

"I don't really know. Normal, I guess." Zoey said.

Mike took a deep breath. Suddenly, his face looked sour and he hunched over. "_Ow_!" Chester yelled. "_You dang kids, always on my property shooting me with your stupid toy guns! Back in my days, guns were a lot safer_!"

"Good, we're done now." Chef said once they left Zoey's house. "Who's next?"

"Wait." Chris stopped him. "Zoey, climb up that tree."

"I don't think I'll..."

"NOW."

"Okay, okay, sheesh." The little red head tried to pull herself up, but failed.

"Yup, she's back to normal, too." Cameron said.

"Great!" Chris said. "Next stop, Duncan!"

Gwen got angry. "You said we were going to get _Trent_!"

"Since when do I tell the truth?" Chris smiled.


End file.
